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art , sculpture , humor


"North to Alaska

Posted by Val Enders on November 22, 2012 at 1:00 PM

"North To Alaska"

I know that you can probably guess from the title, where we are going on our long awaited vacation. As if we haven’t had enough of snow and ice last winter, we have booked a cruise to Alaska. A Disney cruise. With the kids, and grandkids, no less. We like to live on the edge, Hubby and I, and this trip will either prove that we still have true grit, or have totally lost our minds. I know that Alaska is not all snow and ice, and this time of year it can be beautiful there. Since it is a cruise, we are definitely looking forward to the trip. After all, how bad can a cruise be? One thing we really don’t look forward to is packing our clothes. We have been putting it off until now, but we can no longer avoid doing the inevitable. Hubby packs for himself, and I pack for myself, strictly because his idea of necessities doesn’t come close to my idea, and I haven’t a clue what he thinks he needs. Last night I sent him downstairs to dig out the suitcases. “Get the ugly one with the yellow scarf tied on the handle,” I tell him. “Why can’t we use the good suitcases?” he asks. “Because I don’t want my good suitcases getting stolen,” I answer back . “What are you talking about?” comes the reply. “I mean, I am taking the crappiest ones we have, that way no one will want to rip them off.” “What the heck did we buy these new ones for? We haven’t used them yet, and we have been away three times since we got them.” “Think about it,” I say. “No one would be caught dead with the old ones, and we can spot them in an instant if somebody tries to make off with them. ” Apparently he doesn’t see my point of view, but decides against a debate on the suitcase issue, and brings up his new one and my old crappy one. For him packing is no big deal, but he doesn’t think like a woman either. Women inherently know that more than one pair of shoes will be required. Men think runners are good for everything and can be worn with suits. NOT! We want to pack “light” this time, and not take a lot of stuff that we’ll never wear, but looking through the closet, I start to second guess what I’ll need. Alaska is different than Maui. Guess I had better pack a warm coat, sweaters, slacks, a good evening outfit. Rain gear? Do I need a bathing suit or a parka? Suddenly I start to panic. There is a lot of pre trip stuff to do… the house needs a good vacuuming, the yard needs tending, the fridge needs cleaning, and the list goes on and on in my head. I’m immobilized, stuck to the floor, while the clock ticks down to departure and nothing is done. What if something goes wrong and the police have to come into the house? I can see the headlines now. “FAMILY ON VACATION LEAVES CUPBOARDS IN DISORGANIZED MESS” Police wonder “HOW CAN THEY LIVE LIKE THAT, THEY SEEMED SO NORMAL?” Witness says, “I SAW DUST BUNNIES UNDER THE BED, AND WAS HORRIFIED!” Ok, get a grip, Val! You’re letting your imagination run rampant. Just calm down. Think sensibly. Are you going to see anyone on this cruise that you know? Probably not. Do you give a rat’s behind if you don’t have the house perfect when you are not here? Nah, I don’t think so. Do you care if the lawn grows over the house? Absolutely not. Then pack what you need and start having fun. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to have the best time that you can. Live in the moment, and get moving! It’s a good thing that there are still a few brain cells that are capable of reasoning. My heart rate returns to normal , and I start packing a few things into the old worn out suitcase. This is the point of no return, and high on my priority list is my determination to have a good time, and I suddenly realize that I can do that wearing anything. Including a parka if need be. Bon Voyage. I’ll be back before I know it.

Categories: Editorials published on Northern Star

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