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Allied Arts Council of Spruce Grove
35 - 5th Ave, Spruce Grove, Alberta (in the Melcor Cultural Centre) Phone: (780) 962-0664 Mon. - Fri. - 10:00 - 5:00PM Sat. - 10:00AM - 5:00PM Closed Sundays and all Statutory Holidays
Newest Members
My Chicken's On the Internet
My chicken's on the Internet. She surfs the web all day. I've tried to stop her browsing but, so far, there's just no way.
She jumps up on the mouse and then she flaps around like mad to click on every hyperlink and every pop-up ad.
| She writes a blog for chickens and she uploads chicken pics. She visits chicken chat rooms where she clucks about her chicks.
I wouldn't mind so much except my keyboard's now a wreck. She hasn't learned to type yet; she can only hunt and peck by Kenn Nesbitt |
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators..
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOLTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators..
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.